1.18.2014

That Crazy, Beautiful Lie



Unsatisfying as it was for him, he found fulfillment in sleeping that quickly, and it was over.

Not having expectations met by your birthday is indeed a party pooper. 

"Happy birthday! You are a year older. Something about that face makes me so excited and sad all at once.  Not quite the party we expected but you are on your way to becoming a little man." 

I'd choke on my own silence seeing a heart that has been through so much in my short time here but yet still sees the good in everything and everybody. One with the biggest heart I've ever seen. And to make it broad, I can't stand seeing people waste their potential. Most especially with this kind, just uncanny.

There are people who are losers by virtue of being unpopular or unattractive or unhappy or generally denigrated -- he knows he is totally the opposite yet he decided that was going to be it and says he's going to be fine. I don’t think there’s anything more frustrating than lying to yourself. I so badly want to do something to help him, but I know it’s useless until he decides something. At times this leads to some uncomfortable, intense and heated conversations.

So to support his theory, as usual. The determination is unending and you think you are stubborn at times, but no. That is not how the people look at you, not how I look at you. Your curiosity is inspiring (and sometimes a little nerve racking) and I know with your sense of adventure and imagination, the sky is the limit for you. You go out of your way to make sure everyone feels accepted though you are truly crushing yourself (Oh look, feels like I am talking to myself again). 

I now have no idea what the point is, but I can tell you how much I have been aiming to see things the way people see them.



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